What does it mean when there’s the crunch of fresh snow underfoot and sit commands go unheard, because, well, no pants!?! Winter is here. And any Good Dog wouldn’t dare to be seen about the park in last season’s sock.
I’ve compiled a collection of what’s hot on the scene right now when sporting your latest laundry pile find.
#1 – The Top Knot
Sometimes you just gotta be flexible for clouds of crisp kibble breath in the air and fighting The Small One for the warmest sun spot in the place. This look can be worn up or you can just tip your head and let it fall at your feet. It will make you want to say “Hey, lady! You want to try my new toilet bowl home-brew? It’s an IPA.”
#2 – Meant to be Messy
Loose knots will really help tie this look together. Can be paired with a nice t-shirt for a casual look, or a full suit to show people that you mean business, while you’re doing your business. Just give it a tie here, and perhaps a flip and tuck there and…VOILA! Did you wake up looking this good? Yes.
#3 – Camp Fire Cozy
After a long, hard day of blazing a trail of yellow snow in the Alps, nothing scratches the spot more than curling up nose-to-butt next to a warm fire. Fashioning a turtle neck-like scarf wrap is a great way to ward off the chills. Your neckbeard will thank you with this look!
Just make sure not to wrap too tightly. You can run the risk of getting tangled in your collar.
#4 – The Side Sweep
This look is casual yet hip in all of its asymmetrical glory. If your ears hang low, but not low enough, this is a great way to keep the side of your arm warm, or alternatively, cool it from the fireplace’s crackle.
#5 – I Mean Business When I’m Doing My Business
It’s a tie for 5th place. Literally. It’s for Business Time.
#6 – Bonus! Red Hot Red Rocket Pocket
I’m about to “give it away, give it away, now” – my best kept pro-tip. The Red Hot Red Rocket Pocket. Every Good Dog needs a good sprawl every once in a while. That’s why I always carry a RHRRP with me at all times. You never know who is in need for a good censorship’in!
That’s all, fur and furless friends. Go out and sock it to the world. And when you’re done, they will be nice and ripe for a good chew. Just don’t swallow the stringy bits. Trust me.